I have no students today. 1st hour seniors are all gone. 2nd hour is my plan time. So yeah, no finals to give today. No students!
Rather than restart my novel, I’m fixing the draft I started in the winter. The major change I’m doing is the setting. I was going to write the story from the suburbs of Chicago, but why? How does that contribute? If anything, it’ll detract from the story because I haven’t spent much time there. Sooo, I’m moving it to St. Louis. The city itself won’t be a huge deal as far as plot, but at least I can write what I know. I’ll put Forest Park in or something, I don’t know. Now that it’s practically time to write this thing, I’m getting all of these insecurities and 2nd thoughts about it:
“It’s not going to sell either! You can’t market it to teens in your classroom, so who’s going to buy it?”
“Your first draft is so awful that none of this will even be used!”
“Think of the two years of work you have ahead of you for this thing. Do you really want to do that again? For what? So you have another book to sell after your shows?”
“You’re just doing this to pump out another title. You think that’s going to impress anyone at this point?”
“The ending of this one is going to be predictable. Stop going to the well on the same crap so many times.”
“Treat yourself to a free summer! Relax for once!”
All of these echo in my head every day. They just popped up this last weekend. I will ignore them even though they make perfect sense. The first draft is my favorite part of the novel-writing process. I should enjoy this step rather than focus on the hours of revision it will lead to. I have to take the pressure off of myself. I know I’m still at least 2 books away from being good enough to publish, so I need to keep working/writing. Maybe I don’t get anything published until I retire from teaching completely (20+ years from now).
Had I only started earlier. I’ve always been a late bloomer. I wonder if dying will be like that too. I mean, puberty took its sweet time to hit, so why not death? OK, let’s back off the morbid train.
So my plan is to continue working on the first draft. One hour a day this summer. By 10:30 I was to have my workout (also an hour) and writing done. Then the rest of the day is mine.
On days like this when I don’t get to teach–even yesterday when I only had films and finals, I get restless. By 7:00 last night I was pacing around with nothing to do. Luckily I have a good book to read. I took my telescope out at stared at Venus, then the moon for awhile. My chess game is back up to par too.
This is what happens when you don’t have kids. You have time to yourself, which is great, but you gotta occupy it with something that improves yourself. Bad habits come easily.
OK, I’ll stop here. I have my author blog to get to. I need to thank some people.